By Andy, founder
The empty message box can be the hardest part of online dating. You've read a profile, you like what you see, and suddenly your mind goes blank. The good news is that a good first message doesn't need to be clever. It just needs to show you've read their profile and give them something easy to reply to. Here's what I'd suggest.
Start with their profile
The best opener is almost always sitting right there in their profile. Pick one thing that caught your eye and ask about it.
- "I see you love the Botanic Gardens. Have you been in the Kibble Palace lately?"
- "You mentioned you're learning to cook Italian. What's the dish you're proudest of so far?"
- "A fellow Southsider! Do you have a favourite walk in Queen's Park?"
Specific beats general every time. "Hi, how are you?" is polite, but it gives the other person nothing to work with.
Keep it short and friendly
A first message isn't a letter. Two or three lines is plenty: a warm hello, one thing you noticed and a question. If you've written a whole paragraph about yourself, save most of it for later. Your own profile can do that work for you, and my tips for writing a profile that gets replies can help.
Ask an open question
Questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no tend to stall. Try starting with what, where or how instead.
- Instead of "Do you like walking?" try "Where's your favourite place for a walk round Glasgow?"
- Instead of "Do you like music?" try "What was the last gig you really enjoyed?"
A question about something local is a lovely way in. Most of us have strong opinions about the best chippy or the best view of the city, and it might just lead to an idea for a first date.
A few things to avoid
- Compliments on looks alone. "You're gorgeous" is nice to hear, but it's hard to reply to and can feel a bit much from a stranger.
- Copy and paste messages. People can usually tell, and it suggests you haven't read their profile.
- Heavy topics straight away. Exes, money and past heartache can wait until you know each other.
- Rushing to swap numbers. Keeping the chat on Go Glasgow Dating until you're comfortable is one of the simple habits in our guide to dating safely.
Make each message count
Classic members can send a limited number of messages each day, so it's worth putting a wee bit of thought into each one rather than sending the same line to everyone. A thoughtful message to the right person is worth far more than a dozen quick ones. It also helps to verify your profile. ID verification is free for every member, and a verified badge tells people you're genuine before they've even replied.
If they don't reply
It happens to everyone, and it's rarely personal. People get busy, go quiet for a while or simply aren't looking for the same thing. One gentle follow up after a few days is fine. If there's still nothing, let it go and move on to the next profile that makes you smile. The right conversation tends to feel easy...and when it does, suggest meeting for a coffee or a walk.
Once you're chatting and ready to meet, have a look at our first date ideas in Glasgow for some easy, local suggestions.
- messaging
- online dating
- glasgow
